It is fucking wedding season (I don’t care what Wedding Crashers says. Wedding season is kind of awful).
My opinion is that the men who wear their own suit to a wedding look much better than those in the penguin gear and here is why: shitting fitting.
I had to go to Today’s Man to get a tux fitted. I didn’t try on a jacket or pants. I stood there in my shorts and tshirt while they took my measurements, wrote it down and I shelled out $180 bucks for a tux that is going to fit like shit.
Now you will say
But Guy, $180 bucks for one night isn’t that bad. Stop your fucking complaining.
And I will tell you to shut your goddamn yapper. You are a fucking pussy.
When I put on one of my suits (that I had expertly tailored and one of them even custom made for me) I feel powerful. I feel handsome. I feel like when I walk into that room I own it. A well fitting suit on a man is to women what sexy lingerie on a nice pair of tits or amazing ass is to men.
So here is the deal men. We are smart. We are cunning. We are looking out for our friends. It’s time to get rid of the one size fits all penguin jumpers and switch to a black suit. That’s right. A black suit. It’s 2012.
From a pure monetary standpoint a suit may cost $500 or $600 bucks sure, but I will wear it for 2-4 years 4-5x a year. Get it? That’s 37 a year if I wear it 4x a year for 4 years.
Not only will everyone at the alter look like James Bond but the suits will actually fit. You will have better looking friends than your wife who made all of her friends fit into an ugly purple dress with frills or some shit.
Bonus: these are your best friends. You want them with you at the alter, you should be with them when they get a suit for one of the most important days of your life. Block out a weekend and have everyone come to you. Go to a suit store and make a day of it. Get tailored. Tell stories. Drink whiskey. Smoke a cigar. Enjoy the time while you have it.